My train had been cancelled I was counting to zen As I had an important meeting Sally and I were discussing Whether we should hire a taxi But even shared we were worried About the cost as the drivers were bandits I am writing a book In the Bathroom This is the opening paragraph

Maya who I only knew by sight Was sleeping awkwardly Against the window As we headed towards North Face I thought about her dreams Her name was Maya Rom Her badge shared the detail Her knees were closed But her arms were loose Two students dressed as chipmunks Were sitting opposite us They looked ridiculous […]

Do you remember an artist named Ulysses Keep Yes he was murdered by one of his models She shot him in the eye And retired to a convent No motive was ever established I spoke to the nun who killed him When Yesterday What did she tell you Did he try to take advantage of […]

Hi Josie You have caught me outside Queensbury Tube Station (Where the fuck is Queensbury) I am meeting Ralph As he is signing his new book He wants to introduce me To a couple of his friends This Is Joe He fucks his dyke sister They are identical twins Their father was a vicar Joe […]

Joe Cora and I are in Athens As Elena (Cora’s sister) Insisted that we stay with her When she found out we were in Hydra Confession Time We flew to Athens I know how much you hate flying Please forgive me as I had no choice I will understand if you spank my bare bum […]

My father used to own a shop beside the river Many of my earliest memories originated there The shop is still there but has been repurposed It is now used by an estate agent Behind the shop where the stables used be A block of three riverside apartments were built They are actually rather nice […]

I am Naked This is my brother Bertie We are both studying History at Kings

Hilary and Hilary Are naked on the jetty They are in an embrace I am sleeping on the grass This is not an erotic poem As a fly is irritating my dreams

I am so tired now That I do not even Have the strength To hate my enemies

I need to have an intimate Understanding of your mind Before I purchase This railway timetable Ellen That is very very important