Many years ago I attended a Byron exhibition in London which I found very interesting However one of the exhibits haunted me a great deal It was an envelope full of Lady Caroline Lamb’s pubic hair The misguided girl had sent these to Lord Byron in a futile attempt to woo him As I looked […]

For about twenty minutes this afternoon I thought that I was a cow I crossed a country road on all fours with a water bottle in my hand My fellow creatures looked at me as if I was mad but they understood my theatre For as much as you might want to hug trees there […]

Mr & Mrs Coastal Path grew Marigolds in their small garden The Marigolds resented this as they wanted to explore the world So they romped naked around the garden to upset the neighbours In view of this and the complaints from both sides of the road Mr & Mrs Coastal Path decided to grow cabbages […]

Two rabbits one red and one blue were sitting on a grassy bank next to the railway track They were discussing what would happen to the Railway Rabbit’s after the dreadful disease had faded The Red Rabbit said although the Myxomatosis had been savage and had killed many rabbits It had been a gift from […]

I can remember reading a novel by Marguerite Duras called L’Amant which detailed an affair between a French girl and a Chinese man. The book made me immensely sad as it was about the decline of empire or so it seemed A new order replacing the old I have always thought well of empire Order […]

On the whole I do not each that much As I do not really enjoy food That is not to say that I am casual about my diet (far from it) But I just find the whole process rather tedious Yet on occasions you will find me in fast food outlets Consuming in excess of […]

I can see you swimming in the declining winds You light up this sky with your bold colours What quiet passions do you hide

My heart is supposed to buried with my wife in Bournemouth And some of my bones are resident in a museum in Rome I lived in Marlow for a while but have never lived in Margate It is the town which Keats visited with his friend Charles Cowden Clarke I would like to visit Margate […]

I have a friend called Rachel R who has never been in a long relationship She does not have much going for her as she is fat and rather plain But of late Rachel has been very happy as she has met an Israeli chap Who does not judge her on her looks or the […]

On the Bridge Wolfgang my wife and I found a small weakness in the structure It was not that conspicuous and had recently been repaired with sour concrete I ran my smallest finger along the rough surface and discovered that it was still silk soft We then scratched our message into the setting mass whilst […]