On the sixth day of the apocalypse I found Great Nancy at the allotment tending to our runner beans She was as normal wearing her scruffy dungarees and a pale blue tee shirt Her bright yellow wellington boots were near the outdoor tap having been hosed down To clarify things we were not facing an […]

I live in an ornamental pond Whose waters are sourced From the natural springs Under the village church I have often wanted to travel And leave these pure waters But my wings are too heavy To consider this recreation

Just over six months ago I purchased the latest MX4 which was more commonly known as MOLLY My reason for purchasing MOLLY was simple as I needed company when I visited The Water House I was the founder of ZEN a very successful software company and we were about to diversify into domestic androids MOLLY […]

I had been living in St Margaret’s Bay for some months and had begun running as the weather improved It was then that I noticed a woman who must have weighed some 100 kilos swimming in the sea each morning She was as naked as the day was clear which surprised me a little given […]

As a present to ourselves after the dreadful lockdown Foss and I decided to travel to the coast on an express train The only thing that I found a little disturbing was that Foss had invited Hilda His favourite mannequin who was also a dedicated nudist Although we were on own in railway carriage due […]

Why is a raven like a writing desk  Asked the Mad Hatter of Alice I do not know the answer to your question  Answered Alice looking distinctly puzzled The Mad Hatter touched his pointed chin and smiled You are in good company Alice as I do not know the answer either In a tree not […]

For many years I thought that I had a painting on my wall Whose title was Combat de nègres dans un tunnel That was until I married my budgerigar BERTIE Who told me that I was deeply nocturnal And had been staring at my landing window For the past thirty seven years

lephants do not fly Elephants do not swim very well Elephants do not like elevated railways – Elephants do not speak or understand German In Italian Tuffi means water dive It is not a name that should be given to an elephant Even an elephant that has fallen from a suspended train into a river […]

There is a castle far away that is haunted by the blue dreams of my aunt She died by her own hand on the last day of the war As she had forgotten peace

You should always cook with the pale blue shell of the Koobra Bird And smother your exposed skin generously with the dust collected In minutes you will develop feathers and the ability to fly The options of migration thereafter are limitless