For a couple of years in my twenties I lived in Cambridgeshire Partially as I was a writing book with the support of the university But also as I absolutely adored the flatness of the landscape It fascinated me as one could see for miles without many obstructions It was while I was living in […]

Joe Sam May I begin the interview Please Do men ever send dick pics to you Only my friend Richard What would you do if you received a dick pic Feel sick Have you ever sent a dick pic of yourself Only when I was doing Shakespeare So I would guess that you were less than […]

I used to work with a Spanish chap With an unusual name Madrid Deep That was not his real name As his father was a famous musician And he did not want to live in his slipstream Madrid Deep is an artist and for her twenty-first He painted Josie from life holding a violet scarf […]

I have done all the things That I was supposed to do So I am leaving this war I can contribute nothing new If you want to bid me farewell Then meet me at the Church of Angels On Tuesday morning late at ten

Hi Joe I have just read your latest poems and they have blown me away Just where do you get your ideas from I feel sometimes that I am are getting to understand you as with with your recent luxury poems But then you blindside me as you have with your most recent works Tortoises […]

Hi Joe I trust that you are still awake after what happened I was watching the Chelsea game on television They were three two down entering stoppage time And I was creaming my face waiting for the whistle The game was ten minutes over and then a penalty I thought we would score and that […]

Daddy why are they taking all our cows off to be slaughtered Because there has been an outbreak of Foot & Mouth in the area But most of our cows are healthy and very fit I know son but some are infected and we cannot take that chance What shall we do We will have […]

A group of friends Camped on a railway line Near my rural home This is not a city park You will not be safe As you are in a dangerous place But they cared more for the butterflies The inevitable happened As an express train hit the tent And their hearts were shredded Into the […]

One survives and the other does not That is my answer to the exam question Tortoiawa is a misspelling of tortoise Tortoises cannot escape their shells As it is attached to their rib cage and spine Tortoises are ectothermic Seashells are not ectothermic It is not uncommon to find seashells In souvenir shops in coastal […]

Guys  Many years ago just after I had left university I found myself at the French Institute in Leicester Square where I caught a movie and it was there that I met a French girl named Pascale It was a strange meeting as I would have walked straight past her (as you do in London) but […]