After leaving school I went to work for the Southern Counties Bus Company I stayed there for over five years working mainly as a bus conductor But later in administration at the main depot In Portsmouth It was there that I met Maureen who later became my wife Sadly when little Geraldine came along I […]

Pass the Sick Bagge As there are politicians Heading for our door You have a choice Chilli Special or Burger King Burp The Chilli Special please But without the cheese Bagge Yes Pooh Shall we go to the zoo Number one or Number two Number two Pooh And lets ask Sister Lou pavement poetry

Beautiful Beautiful Blue Bird Blue Proud on our Summer Wall What a Perfect Creature You Are You Are What a Perfect Creature You Are Leah (2024)

I threw a ball For my dog Nigger It was a bit extravagant I know But it was his birthday

I broke my arm in two places Charles Really how dreadful for you It is getting better now Yes but I have been advised To stop visiting those places

The foul conditions had driven Most of the mourners away A few of us remained On this deep December evening We stood as brothers and chanted Above poor Linnell’s grave

Tell me a joke about autoeroticism Stan Autoeroticism Yeah (pause) There are not many jokes on this subject Really But here is one Wow Should we break up Mary Said my car to your car That is the worst joke That I have ever heard Should we Should we what Break up No Why Because […]

I am standing alone in a field A jet plane is passing Just above me It is coming in to land Am I obstructing its flight path pavement poetry

I hate heights Fact I am terrified I go into shock I cannot move Really how awful So hang gliding is out of the window then I am afraid so Jack Italian No my father is Maltese I thought that was fake tan No it is real My father is English In fact all my […]

Orange The Future is Orange The monitor above my head Is playing the same advertisement Continues It was then that I spotted An orange glow Illuminating The Brutal Window I lay on a hard wooden bench And thought of nothing Nothing but you pavement poetry