Stuart Miller-Osborne

Cynthia Buzz Cut Cynthia Bitch was an invisible girl Who had an obsession with William Tell To force her man out of his ram-loss-rut She went to the barbers for a blonde buzz cut   Authors Notes on William Tell and Cynthia Bitch I was given this poem by a shop assistant in Zurich when […]

Cynthia was a shy girl who used to change behind hedges When the moon was full and bright She had sad dark eyes which dominated her pale face Her hair was raven in colour but when the moon was full It would look as if it was a midnight blue tinged with black This added […]

God is right handed I know this As I borrowed his ruler During a geography lesson     Trafalgar Square Recently when visiting London I travelled to Trafalgar Square I touched the empty plinth With my left hand And knew then Of its vacancy

On the islands of the Snow Moon Strange things happen Birds fly backwards And earthworms write books Brown dogs develop processing skills Which help the sailors at sea To navigate between the moons Bright girls named Lettuce Sew orange peel gently Into the hems of their skirts With citric red needles As they guess the […]

The Dunes of Corralejo When the snow falls from the colourless skies I think of you at the beach café On the pathway to the dunes You are naked under your thin dress As you have just returned from a swim We are sharing a pizza and a beer And are listening to a gentle […]

I purchased a Hoover In Vancouver To soothe her frustrations With me

Gail and Erika were sitting on a weathered wooden bench on the Plymouth Hoe Both women were looking out to sea Thinking of William Bradford They had not planned to visit Plymouth as they returned from their holiday But they had received news that an aunt had suffered an injury So they had both decided […]

The Dive Gail had already dived into the sea below the Christopher Rocks She had surfaced and was telling Erika to dive But Erika remained on the rock Erika had already dived into the sea below the Christopher Rocks She had surfaced and was telling Gail to dive But Gail remained on the rock Both […]

I was slowly turning into a pineapple My skin especially on my legs and around my pubic area Was getting rather rough My GP recommended plenty of showers I was in the shower when you rang me From the railway station You wanted to tell me that Venus was exceptionally bright But the frost was […]

You occasionally meet the Dark Lady Usually when you are not expecting to see her She stops and helps you count your white numbers The Dark Lady is totally unaware of her considerable beauty Her porcelain skin so pale her raven hair and raven eyes These attract me and I look forward to our meetings […]