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Europe You Are Still Seductive
You are still attractive but you are so diseased Sores fester of your much travelled cunt Poor decisions were made for you By people stupid and corrupt by design But your condition is not terminal Your health can be retrieved Just choose your sleeping partners with care And I will remove you from these sordid […]
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American Pascal
I called my car American Pascal She was a 1958 Cadillac Eldorado I used to park her near the palms trees That fronted the beach Whilst I wrote the Great American Novel But whilst fame always avoided me As my English was poor I never grew tired of American Pascal With her white and black […]
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Ebbsfleet International
You know I find these vending machines so tiresome They are meant to be tiresome What time is the next train? In about ten minutes It is the last Dover train of the day I am going home at last Are you excited? Very I am going to meet my distant descendants I think I […]
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Pocahontas
Indian Bride No good will come of your voyage You will die in an estuary town In England’s first county Pocahontas and her husband John Rolfe were returning to Virginia in March 1617 but only got as far as Gravesend as Pocahontas had become seriously ill After being taken ashore she died soon […]
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Pocahontas
You died in this estuary town On your return voyage Miles from your original home The location of your grave is unknown As your father’s church was consumed by flames Only your statue remains Everybody visits you But few remember you There is a life size statue of Pocahontas at Saint […]
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Trail Monkey
The Trail Monkey always rides In the final wagon Of the train He is tasked To look out for Red Indians But they are far away
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Letter to my Former Self
When I was thirteen years old I received a plastic table football set as a Christmas present This gift took my imagination and I soon arranged a match between Chelsea and Real Madrid I designed a programme and purchased a trophy for the big game Chelsea won the match 5-3 with Peter Osgood scoring twice […]
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Golden- Golden
Sleeping on the golden railway platforms Is not as bad as it is made out to be Think of it You always have company and see plenty of trains Sometimes kind people give you alms Others tell you how much God loves you Whilst some just call you a cunt and tell you to fuck […]
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Scarborough Sister
Scarborough Sister Miss Lister Scarborough sister I have missed her Beloved sister This mysterious rhyme dropped from the pocket of John Wilkes Booth soon after he assassinated Abraham Lincoln Historians have tried to decipher the code but have achieved little success Miss Lister Scarborough sister Please fist her I have missed her […]
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The Garage on top of the Hill
There is a garage above the town Which I own I often sit on the forecourt Near to the Esso pumps And listen to Army of Hardcore By Scooter It tells me to Start the War Cause we are on the floor I do not understand the lyrics But like the music Which is enough […]